tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.comments2022-03-25T12:47:06.323-05:00The Fat PaganKitsune Yokaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14395855731012641970noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-87104021157445001542016-05-28T03:13:04.906-05:002016-05-28T03:13:04.906-05:00The worst of it is knowing that you're not the...The worst of it is knowing that you're not the one who created your self-hate - someone else did a great job of it, and forced you to believe them. It's a lie. There is nothing wrong with me, and if you're suicidal too, there is nothing wrong with you. It took me years to realize that I just want to die. Better that than lying to myself. Anyway, suicide seems to be mother nature's way of saying, "hey there, now you have nothing left to lose, good luck"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-16048153313655655192014-09-22T00:49:39.662-05:002014-09-22T00:49:39.662-05:00Having diabetes, I don't really allow myself t...Having diabetes, I don't really allow myself to binge any more, but occasionally it does happen. Trying to starve myself into sainthood? That happens more often than I care to admit.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-34604457684639910552014-09-22T00:47:58.406-05:002014-09-22T00:47:58.406-05:00Corrupt people who get into positions of authority...Corrupt people who get into positions of authority and trust will always utilize said authority for their own gain. Thank you for bringing this issue to light.<br />Personally, I've never been able to get on with most communities. I had enough of the "my way or the highway" type thinking while I was part of the Catholic church. I was distressed when I encountered it with the Wiccan and New Age lot.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-49467706580097172542014-08-18T21:51:49.015-05:002014-08-18T21:51:49.015-05:00This is an amazingly honest account of a disordere...This is an amazingly honest account of a disordered relationship with food and with oneself. I would encourage you to be selfish and bossy with your own life. Tell anyone who isn't helping to f**k off! Start with a new doctor! Take care of yourself, make YOU a priority. From reading your writing you are obviously brilliant. Not many can be so succinct and candid about a subject that is so close to their own soul. If you have a label, I hope that this means you have a professional in your life that you can consult with on how to live more peacefully. A support group of people who are walking a similar path might help too... or it may not. You have to give yourself time to figure it out. The person who responded before me has some good info about how ED is much like addiction. There are biochemical issues, but there are also behavioral patterns and self talk and spiritual issues that all come into play for your recovery. I would definitely get some professionals that can help you find answers about things like your biochemistry (certain minerals being too low can make a huge difference in mood, appetite, etc.) and health. I have been feeling much better since treating my stomach issue that causes hunger like pain and so really messes me up for being able to listen to my body. Thank you for your courage. chrisAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-8512063680991220402014-08-11T11:13:44.606-05:002014-08-11T11:13:44.606-05:00This was painful to read as I can personally relat...This was painful to read as I can personally relate so much. I suffered from anorexia nervosa but in recovery my emaciated body became ravenous (as you described) - it is such an alien feeling to most of the western world. An ED is an addiction and recovery is a state of constantly telling yourself No to these impulses. I still haven't and won't ever recover - sometimes I succeed in refusing to starve or binge. Just like you, I binge and sometimes starve. I wish you the best of luck in recovery, EDs are hard to overcome but it is possible - yes there are chemical imbalances but the mind is more powerful. There is something I have been doing that is actually helping quite a bit: coffee, fruit, oatmeal for breakfast, hearty sandwich for lunch, tea and fruit as a snack, and a massive salad or soup for dinner. It's boring, it's a little light (just add more nuts or avocadoes for more cals). I'm starting to get on the schedule above and it is helping. But it's taken months. There have been setbacks and failures, but I try to work through that. However, the time invested for health is worth it! I hope that you find healing, health and freedom from your ED. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-2725652231936903332014-06-23T10:42:21.779-05:002014-06-23T10:42:21.779-05:00In my training the fourth aspect was the Temptress...In my training the fourth aspect was the Temptress. She tempts with Youth, and beauty as the maiden, then as the Mother she tempts with nurturing care, compassion and love, and as the Crone, she tempts with knowledge and wisdom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-72975809243963665072014-05-21T11:27:09.097-05:002014-05-21T11:27:09.097-05:00Great story.Thank you.With my own share of exposur...Great story.Thank you.With my own share of exposure to a few different cultures, it had no influence on my embracing Islam as for that being practical.same in case after case of any one's conversion to any new faith, anywhere. It is just as clear. There is a bit more to it. There is a deeper underlying reason why we wind up on which ever course. The great part is realizing that part of the story. Do'nt you think ? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00676441853783280192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-64784526284352206612014-04-18T17:34:28.492-05:002014-04-18T17:34:28.492-05:00I literally had no idea this was happening, but I&...I literally had no idea this was happening, but I'm not surprised - as soon as you get groups together where someone is in some kind of position of authority, particularly niche, slightly secretive groups (e.g. religious groups), there will be someone who tries to use that authority as an opportunity to abuse vulnerable members. That's not OK. I'm just starting down my little path of exploration into paganism, and I've been doing things in a solitary way, but if I do come across anything that makes me believe that vulnerable people are being abused in any context, then I hope I have the courage to speak up about it. Thank you for the post!Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12847704098815663133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-50831355714764474692013-12-11T22:52:41.292-06:002013-12-11T22:52:41.292-06:00I despise the fact that if a person is suicidal th...I despise the fact that if a person is suicidal the police are called in as if they are a criminal. I think that when one is exhibiting suicidal feelings, this is a time when they need compassion, not to be treated like they are "bad" and "wrong."<br />With regards to assisted suicide, I watched my father slowly die, with chronic pain and with his mind being taken from him. In the end, he refused treatment for a blood clot in his leg. My family is very grateful that hospice was there and that he wasn't forced to continue living under unbearable circumstances.<br />My brother lives with severe chronic pain due to a back injury. His left foot constantly feels as if it is immersed in boiling water. This is the kind of pain that leads people to commit suicide. I hope he doesn't, but the thought does cross my mind. I don't know if I could deal with pain like he lives with every day. I live with chronic, low-grade pain (fibromyalgia and sciatica) and sometimes it depresses me because I can't remember a time when I wasn't in pain.<br />Suicide needs to be decriminalized, and suicidal feelings need to be treated with compassion, regardless of the reason for them.Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost https://www.blogger.com/profile/07596105116325246476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-37717104271590850672013-12-09T18:46:18.966-06:002013-12-09T18:46:18.966-06:00if people want to die you let them. who are we to ...if people want to die you let them. who are we to give advice.bio cleanerhttp://www.biocleanservices.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-18014231887572028652013-10-14T13:01:39.163-05:002013-10-14T13:01:39.163-05:00I'm new to your blog, so I didn't notice y...I'm new to your blog, so I didn't notice your long absence. :-) Please do add a vlog. I'm not Deaf, but I've studied ASL, and I love to see more of it. And thank you in advance for the captions!Marion T. Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13547708650514138952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-83399719081333178432013-08-23T19:11:51.562-05:002013-08-23T19:11:51.562-05:00I love this so much! I have been thinking about th...I love this so much! I have been thinking about this for a while now and the people I talk to think that I'm crazy. But I have been feeling that there was something missing and that She was trying to make herself known in a way. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-24315375945002922792013-04-21T04:53:20.035-05:002013-04-21T04:53:20.035-05:00It isn't the right of anyone else to judge you...It isn't the right of anyone else to judge you as not good enough, but you are so right, we internalize these awful, awful messages and they screw up our right to live our life in peace. Much love.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13492500438485341912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-63745369374159579322013-04-11T21:24:51.463-05:002013-04-11T21:24:51.463-05:00I'm hardly ever on tumblr although I did follo...I'm hardly ever on tumblr although I did follow you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07813753517831012190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-23993247902253498592013-04-09T10:46:21.876-05:002013-04-09T10:46:21.876-05:00Not to mention that when they say something to the...Not to mention that when they say something to the doctor about it, the doctor will be more inclined to assume the person is out of shape too, and prescribe fitness as a solution. Happens all the damn time, and it is so damn frustrating. <br /><br />And I know someone in my college health class who has arthritis at 20 years old, and the professor told them that even though it was painful they should still try to "push their limits." While I personally am all for pushing my limits, it is such a bad, bad, bad idea for this girl to. She told me that exercise makes everything hurt and she just can't enjoy herself and is completely ashamed when she has to walk or skip out but if she forces herself, she gets crippling flair ups later that day. <br /><br />Everyone's abilities are different, and that is ok. There are examples from all over the spectrum because people are gloriously multicolored. Thank you for your comment!Kitsune Yokaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14395855731012641970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-3688645808242763672013-04-09T10:08:21.113-05:002013-04-09T10:08:21.113-05:00People who consistently find themselves gasping, w...People who consistently find themselves gasping, wheezing or coughing when exercising should be checked for asthma.<br /><br />We have gotten so attached to the idea that if you can't do X without gasping, you must be horribly out of shape. Sometimes, though, it's just asthma.<br /><br />I have both asthma and really bad knees. I regularly hear fat-shamers making cracks about "can't make it up a flight of stairs." Fuck you, Pookie, if I go slow it's because my knees are grinding bone-on-bone and if I gasp, it's because my damn lungs don't work right.<br /><br />Just, you know, wanted to make the point. Yes, there is such a thing as having good or bad pulmonary conditioning, and needed to get one's lungs in shape to do aerobic workouts. But asthma exists, and fat people who have it often find themselves so ashamed of what they cannot do without gasping that they never get it diagnosed, and continue to blame themselves for what is a medical condition.Mad Gastronomerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16430430847669544406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-11217283059698855872013-03-26T00:53:54.250-05:002013-03-26T00:53:54.250-05:00Oh thank Maude. Oh thank Maude. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15105643023338229287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-38081965991746535322013-02-26T15:02:22.778-06:002013-02-26T15:02:22.778-06:00thank you for sharing this. it helps people to se...thank you for sharing this. it helps people to see it talked about. am sorry you struggle, so many of us do, whether with eating disorders or just disordered eating or thoughts about food or whatever. re: relapse, i think the most important thing is to forgive yourself and keep trying! at least that has been my experience with trying to conquer addictions. frustrating as it is, dwelling on that holds me back. not that you're dwelling. and not that i know what's best for you. your frustration just sounded all too familiar to me, and in the past my best cure is a big dose of forgiveness and hope for the future. <br /><br />also your discussion of growing up working class made me mad. i think so many people in poverty are stuck in that situation, where all they can afford is crappy food. and then of course you crave more, because your body isn't getting any nutrients. it's entirely possible in this country to be fat and starving, or at least nutritionally deficient. but everybody looks at you like eating less would just fix the problem. nope, it wouldn't.amlamontehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679620072242827076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-82317985287967761082013-02-24T13:02:48.805-06:002013-02-24T13:02:48.805-06:00great post. I already answered this on Fb. great post. I already answered this on Fb. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-66385316161754885072013-02-17T08:49:55.314-06:002013-02-17T08:49:55.314-06:00What is Aristotelian teleology (which is the basis...What is Aristotelian teleology (which is the basis of the notion of progress) is incorrect metaphysics? What if "golden age" mythology is incorrect history? What if, given the shortness of individual human life, and the desire of each new generation to learn the lessons of history afresh (dang those teenagers!) make improvement of the social condition nearly impossible?<br /><br />The struggle for improved conditions for both oneself and one's children isn't that enough on your plate for any human life? I can hope that my small actions to improve things, will also have the result of improving conditions for my neighbors and humanity as well ... but let's not get our egos too inflated, as if we are the dungeon master in a D&D game.<br /><br />Whatever history lies before us, our work remains to be done, it won't be easy and it won't be dull.Baruchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11508325236513535747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-56300820045639578792013-01-29T16:03:21.846-06:002013-01-29T16:03:21.846-06:00It is a true shame that before someone of size can...It is a true shame that before someone of size can even get help for this addiction, they first have to convince people it IS an addiction, it IS bulimia without the purging. It's infuriating.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-79083674682652747522013-01-26T14:03:53.085-06:002013-01-26T14:03:53.085-06:00(((Nikki))) I love you. That course really was a...(((Nikki))) I love you. That course really was a whole bunch of suck for me, too. I'm so sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-45537874772270693242013-01-13T20:58:26.081-06:002013-01-13T20:58:26.081-06:00Of the Picture my first thought was Movie. Of sky ...Of the Picture my first thought was Movie. Of sky clad, I was Handfasted Skyclad. Naked is NOT sexy. A woman interested in ME is very sexy. There are legitimate and serious covens that accept / aid promiscuity and infidelity. I see this as poor management. Not because of immorality but because of the instability it brings to the coven. I see a coven as long term and I prefer to promote Love rather than sex. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-20198136885548797412013-01-06T18:59:23.230-06:002013-01-06T18:59:23.230-06:00i readed your words like i fly with birds i readed your words like i fly with birds Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2703784548093472811.post-83642805310542212582012-12-12T22:08:22.980-06:002012-12-12T22:08:22.980-06:00Except this gym is created for only those who want...Except this gym is created for only those who want to lose weight! Why cant i go to a gym to just get active? K(Banterings of a Basketcase)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17926370065535783676noreply@blogger.com