Clever Comebacks for Fat Hate!

Have you ever been called something nasty and thought of a comeback minutes or hours later? Well, here is a good list (and a video!) of some good fat comebacks! Do you have suggestions to this list? Put them in the comments.

1) "You're fat!"
"No shit!"
"Really? Where?" then walk away.
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
"I know you are, but what am I?" repeat x1000

2) "Ew, gross! You are so ugly/fat/disgusting" (*)
"Well, I would say something mean back but my mom said to be nice to disabled children." (*)
"You really shouldn't say those kind of things to yourself."
Laugh at them and say "how pathetic." (*)
"Your face."
"I know you are, but what am I?" repeat x1000

3) "Oh congrats! How far along are you?"
"Oh no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." and smile.
"About 13+ months now."

4) "Can I be frank with you?"
"Only if I can still be Luke (or insert name here)"

General comebacks for snide remarks:
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." (#)
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction." (#)
"You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you" (#)
"NI" (sounds like knee) (#)
"You don't frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!" (#)
"That's what she said."
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce." (@)
"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public" (@)
"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?" (@)
"You have obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."





(*) Courtesy of WikiHow
(#) Courtesy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(@) Courtesy of Globe Guardian.