Clever Comebacks for Fat Hate!

Have you ever been called something nasty and thought of a comeback minutes or hours later? Well, here is a good list (and a video!) of some good fat comebacks! Do you have suggestions to this list? Put them in the comments.

1) "You're fat!"
"No shit!"
"Really? Where?" then walk away.
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
"I know you are, but what am I?" repeat x1000

2) "Ew, gross! You are so ugly/fat/disgusting" (*)
"Well, I would say something mean back but my mom said to be nice to disabled children." (*)
"You really shouldn't say those kind of things to yourself."
Laugh at them and say "how pathetic." (*)
"Your face."
"I know you are, but what am I?" repeat x1000

3) "Oh congrats! How far along are you?"
"Oh no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." and smile.
"About 13+ months now."

4) "Can I be frank with you?"
"Only if I can still be Luke (or insert name here)"

General comebacks for snide remarks:
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." (#)
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction." (#)
"You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you" (#)
"NI" (sounds like knee) (#)
"You don't frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!" (#)
"That's what she said."
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce." (@)
"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public" (@)
"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?" (@)
"You have obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."





(*) Courtesy of WikiHow
(#) Courtesy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(@) Courtesy of Globe Guardian.

Mind, Body, Spirit

The worn saying "Body, Mind, and Spirit" may be old, but should still be paid attention to. A funny thing happens when you stop hating yourself; you actually become happier. When you say, "You know what? I am tired of the self loathing, the self pity, and most of all, the negative comments inside and out" and then change your inner attitude, you start feeling better.

Let me tell you, I hated myself with the burning fires of a thousand Suns. I have hated myself for a very, very long time and it all started in elementary school with the bullies. The bullying from others carried over to middle school, lessened a lot in high school and is pretty much gone now that I am in college. However, the internal bullying didn't stop until about a year ago. The internal dialogue was more poisonous than anything anyone else had said to me.

Then I met a woman who I confessed my ill self talk to. She told me that she puts inspirational words on her water bottles and drinks only that. I asked her what does that have to do with what I tell myself? She told me that our bodies are 60-70% water and that Dr. Masaru Emoto did a study about the effects of words, thoughts, music and/or prayers on water. The water that was given positive words, thoughts or music froze into complicated and beautiful crystals whereas the water that was given negative words, thoughts or music didn't really have ice crystals.

Ice crystal with "Love and Appreciation" written on the bottle

I, of course, was skeptical, but figured why the hell not? I will give this "think positive" a try. About a week later, I realized that I hadn't put myself down and that I was visibly happier. I had gotten compliments and asked what it was that I changed. Well!

But seriously, I started changing myself because I didn't like how I was. I was depressed, wore dark, crappy clothes that matched my dark personality, was cynical and sharp-edged, abrasive, but most importantly, lonely. In short, I was sick of myself and in the style of myself, did a 180.

The first step was changing my mind. I changed how I talked to myself. I didn't punish myself for eating that pizza, nor did I stop myself from doing what I pleased. The most important thing I overcame was the "I can't's". I stopped telling myself "I can't wear that," "I can't do that," "I can't eat that," and starting saying I Will. I will wear that cute dress, I will have that slice of pie, I will climb that sheer rock face!

Me in my nice clothes just after I got done climbing that rock behind me, March 2012

And climb the shit out of that rock I did! I even did it in my name brand Lane Bryant clothes and $130 pair of boots too!

Then I changed my mind to change my body. I decided I was going to be fit and healthy. I decided that I needed more muscles to be able to do the things I wanted to do, like climb mountains. So I went (back) to the gym I had signed up for. (Side note, I had moved into a duplex that had a small gym within walking distance and was curious about it, so one day I went in and was caught up in good salesmanship. I couldn't say no to $25 a month for membership and a very handsome blonde haired, blue eyed guy. I went back to the gym three months later, which is what I'm talking about now.)

Don't get me wrong, this stuff didn't happen in a manner of days or weeks. This took months of me stirring myself into action, months more to come to my conclusions, and many more months afterwards of implementation. I am still changing, but you know what? I am healthy and that is all that matters to me. In case you are curious, I am also healthy at 180lbs over my "recommended weight" bs. But I never was focused on losing weight. My focus was and always will be on being healthy.

I am fat, I am healthy, and I am active. I eat whatever pleases me, and I can honestly say that fresh spinach is the bomb. I can have a salad and not feel like I am neglecting myself because I will have that cake afterwards. I don't deny myself, I don't restrict myself, I don't do yo yo dieting, and that freedom has made me so happy.

I eat what tastes good to me, but I changed my eating habits. I eat fruits and veggies, I eat chicken or turkey mostly, I supplement my diet (the way I eat) with multivitamins and chocolate whey protein. I eat sushi and sashimi (I LOVE the local sushi here, made by real chefs!!) and sometimes cooked fish when I can bring myself to do it.

3-Bean Turkey Chili, courtesy of Jamie Eason from Bodybuilding.com

But that doesn't mean I miss out on chips or cookies or dessert or good ol' fashion, down home cooking. I still eat whatever I feel like.

My point being, everyone has to find their own happy medium. It doesn't have to involve anything that I did and can be completely different. In fact, I don't expect anyone else to follow what I do and would think them crazy if they did so! I definitely am a weirdo.

In regards to Spirit... you know, it's a process. But it is a whole lot easier when you aren't fighting yourself. Something has to be said about eating the way my body wants, not what my mind wants. I listen closely to what it tells me because my body is sacred and deserves the best of everything. I think it a type of worship, really. Earth my body, Water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my Spirit.

And so I want to leave you with a quote by Melissa McEwan over at Shakesville. 

"My fellow fatsronauts: Maybe your parents police your body, maybe your partner comments on your eating habits, maybe your boss passes you over for promotions, maybe your coworkers make snide comments about your weight, maybe your thin friends passive-aggressively use your weight to make themselves feel better about their insecurities, maybe strangers say awful shit to you, and maybe you have days where it feels like you are truly, hopelessly, resoundingly unlovable, just because you're fat.

It isn't so. I love the fuck out of you."

"Fat" Isn't The Problem

I just got an email from PreventObesity.net which talked about the new HBO series Weight of the Nation (WOTN). It is a four part series on the Obesity! Crisis! that seems to plague our society. The problem with this series, however, is that it doesn't focus on health, only obesity. And when you equate fat with unhealthy, things get dicey quick.

Even the tagline pisses me off: "To Win, We Have To Lose." and the picture below it doesn't help.

The picture comes from an "expert" within the series that said outright:

"Obesity will crush the United States in[to] oblivion."

Whoa there, that is a serious claim! You mean that us fat people are going to sit on the US and kill it with our fatness? Wow, just wow. Another issue that comes up is the price the nation will take for all these obese people. Never mind the other research that says being overweight isn't the problem, but that an unhealthy lifestyle is and that it is practiced by every body size in our nation. Fat does not equal unhealthy; skinny does not equal healthy.

The Association for Size Diversity and Health has put out a response to WOTN called Debate the Weight. Fall Ferguson over at the HAES blog has said she has contributed to this and also put out her own issues regarding WOTN. I encourage you to read it as it lays out why people like her are fighting against the conventional wisdom that the HBO series is bringing. Some of her issues are the fear mongering, the destructive, misinformed message they are sending, and the emphasis on unhealthy eating habits ("such as restrictive dieting, weight cycling (“yo-yo dieting”), and other disordered eating patterns.").

By the way, I think it is worth stating one of the breakdowns ASDAH has provided (pdf) for WOTN trailer. It is about our kids (links in the pdf, if you are interested): "(Claim) This is probably going to be the first generation of children who are going to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents."

"(Response) This is another example of fear-mongering of the worst
kind. This claim was first made—without any evidence
to back it up—by some researchers who later admitted it
was based on “back of the envelope” figures and that
they “never meant for them to be portrayed as precise.”
It’s been repeated so often, that few question its source
any more. The truth is that people living in
industrialized democracies are living longer than their
parents and grandparents, with no evidence of a reversal
of that trend. In fact, the “overweight” category of BMI
is statistically the longest-lived, and there is evidence that
“overweight” may be protective among older adults.
Moreover, even if there were a demonstrable link
between BMI and longevity, the general trends toward a
rise in the average BMI has leveled off in the past
decade. The numbers simply do not bear out the claim
that our children will not live as long as we do."

 Nuff' said.

Hail and Welcome

Hail and Welcome to The Fat Pagan blogspot! Here I will be discussing the issue of fat acceptance/body acceptance with regards to my faith as a Pagan. I am on my own personal journey to becoming a healthier person and am not so worried about what my "idealized" weight should be. Everybody has a natural shape their body wants them to be, and as a Pagan I am all for natural.

In a society that covets thin people and stubbornly clings to their ridiculous notions, what should us fatties do? Stubbornly push back harder.

In a society that believes thin equals healthy, we as people of ALL sizes should prove them wrong, that thin does not equal healthy and that fat does not equal unhealthy.

What should we as Pagans do? Why, we should pass the mead and a leg of boar!