Monday, December 9, 2013


Hey Pagans, how many of you are from exclusively Pagan families? Anyone...?
I am from a Catholic background, and now my immediate family is pretty solidly atheist (my mother is even an atheist priest). I am just starting out on my "own" (with roommates) and have little decorations for my apartment, but it's growing... however, my parents --specifically my mother-- has a crap ton of Christmas decorations that she has re-purposed into Hogswatch decorations. That's right, we now celebrate Hogswatch. For our purposes, Hogswatch can be on any day towards the end of the December month, and will probably be sometime after the 28th due to divorce and custody shit. 
So it's pretty awesome for my family to have Yule and Hogswatch -- like having three birthdays! 
Anyway, I think I will be making some of my Yule decorations this year by hand instead of buying something. Wanna see?  

Clear Glass Ornament Balls 3-1/4in

Clear Glass Ornament Balls with Silver Tops (6 ornaments/box ) 2-5/8" Size

kids christmas list inside glass ornament

Aren't they adorable??? I would also like to make some Yule suncatchers, in honor of the Horned God coming back. Something like this...

COOL. I particularly like the silver leaflets inside. Perhaps some silver leaflets (aluminum foil?) in blues and purples for the Goddess and some gold leaflets (aluminum foil spray painted?) in reds and oranges for the God. I think I will also take some of the wire I have left over to make a mobile. Hmm....

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Musings on Suicide

I thought about suicide. For many years, I contemplated whether it was worth it to leave the life I hated for something else. I didn't just hate my life either; I hated my body and resented my self. Every time I looked in the mirror, I loathed the thing looking back at me. Then, for years, I couldn't even look myself in the eye -- I didn't even turn on the lights to get dressed or use the restroom, because I didn't want to see my body. I hated every morning, because every night I wished I would die in my dreams. I was in a bad place mentally for a very long time, and I felt pain every day by just existing.

Now, I watch a law show about suicide. A woman was suicidal after the man in her life broke up with her, and the woman turned to another who supported the decision for people to commit suicide. The difference, though, is that the advocate was terminally ill and was slowly dying a painful death.

So I sit here and think about my beliefs on suicide, both assisted and self inflicted.

I've attended to a man who had Huntington's Disease, a neurological wasting disease. I couldn't imagine the kind of life I would have if I was suffering as he was. I would seriously consider ending my life while I could. Even in my family, I have seen certain cancers cause endless amounts of suffering -- the kind of cancers that you cannot recover from.

On the flip side, there are many diseases that are treatable and even curable if you have the help you need. Diabetes, for example, is treatable and manageable with a good support system and insulin. Some STIs and STDs are curable now, and many people can now improve their quality of life with medication. Celiac disease is treatable with a change in diet.

So I think the physical illness side should be looked at as, can you have the quality of life that you want? Can your condition be improved with medicines, therapy, holistic healing, or a combination of things? What kind of death will you be looking forward to; a silent, painless death or a death proceeded by excruciating pain and anguish?

On the other hand, we have mental illnesses. As someone who suffers with depression, it can be a struggle day to day. As I have talked about, I seriously thought about suicide. The only reason I pulled away from that end was due to events in my life. What about others who aren't so lucky?

As someone who has been there before, I lean more towards trying to resolve issues with help. But also someone who has been desperately poor, I understand that the kind of help people need isn't cheap or easy to come by; even medication can be expensive. Perhaps we need to change, as a society, the way we view and treat mental illness and physical disabilities. Actually, there is no "perhaps" about it. There should be no reason why seeking help should be expensive or hard to find and keep. This too should be the government's job since we the People aren't doing it.

Anyway, back to the point.

It's not just depression that impacts people's lives, and help can vary for people. I understand that sometimes, for some people, things just won't get better. Sometimes Life just gave you a shitty hand and it's time to quit until the next go around. And if anyone chose to end their life, I would be sad and upset, but ultimately it's that person's choice.

Still, I ask that if you or someone you know is considering suicide, try reaching out to someone first. When you are at the bottom of the pit, take a step to the side and look up. Many times, when you finally reach out, there will be someone there. For myself, I was surprised to finally find that I wasn't actually alone and that there were people who did really care about me. Sometimes it was a teacher, other times it was kind-hearted students who embraced me. Sometimes it was my dog who looked up to me and was there for me when I cried. Now, it's my brother who depends on me for everything.

I can't say that I regret not taking my life; I am glad I didn't. However, I cannot also say that I can condemn those who do, did, or will because ultimately it is a choice that someone should make themselves.

Again though, there are more nuances in life than just black and white. There are some mental illnesses that cannot be treated currently, like being a rapist or child molester or a serial killer. Some things like narcissism aren't effectively treatable, and even depression and bipolarism are difficult to treat and manage.

So I guess I end my ramblings with this: I think suicide is someone's choice to make, but that every other option should be pursued before committing. Suicide is an extreme and final last resort. Regardless though, you can email me and talk if no one else seems to listen. And if you want to talk about it anonymously (or even help people through their problems) try this site called BlahTherapy.

May you find everything you want.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Why I Do Not Like PETA


Seems like everyone is talking about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) lately. As a Pagan, I dislike them a lot. As a feminist, I really dislike them. Why? For several reason, actually.

They straight up kill the animals that they "rescue" for one. In 2011, PETA euthanized a record percentage of animals (95.9%), surpassed only by their numbers in 2009 (97.3%) and 2006 (97.4%). They rescued 2,026 animals, adopted out only 24 of them and euthanized 1,911. They are NOT animal lovers, for animal lovers would not kill as many as PETA has. Of course, this has been a trend for a long, long time. If you want a document of the most recent data (2010), here it is (pdf). Just this makes me gag.

Here is a cute puppy to make you feel better.
Next, we have the degradation of women. From suggesting Ben and Jerry's switch from cow milk to human milk, to fat shaming, to the objectification and torture of women, over and over and over and over again.

How about PETA's racists protests and anti-Semitic ads? Or how about their use of the murder of Tillman to promote their views? How about PETA making light of a cannibalistic attack where the murderer stabbed and decapitated his 22 year old victim on a bus? Again, another murder comparison? They also bought a grave site near Col. Sanders and put up a grave marker that mnemonically read "KFC Tortures Birds". From what I can gather, it has since been taken down. Here are some of PETA’s worst ad idea, including “Feeding Kids Meat is Child Abuse” and a picture of a half cut up woman hanging from meat hooks.

These women were left in the plastic wrap for one hour in 80 degree weather. PETA would never do this to cows.
Last but certainly not least, their funds:

"PETA’s 2010 donations totaled $33 million ($35 million if you add on merchandise sales and other revenue). So where did your money go last year? According to PETA’s 2010 annual report:
  • A vegans make better lovers” campaign where PETA campaigners publicly made out on a bed on the streets of Nashville, TN.
  • Disruption of the Westminster dog show (Because animal lovers deserve to be targeted?)
  • A campaign comparing pregnant women to fattened sows to protest farmed meat
  • Dressing as a giant vanilla condom promote animal birth control in Beirut (Because Beirut has few other controversies to deal with currently)
  • PETA also says it has given over $843 thousand in grants to researchers looking at animal alternatives. Sounds good right? But one should do the math here. The amount is 2 percent of the money PETA spent last year. In comparison, they spent 17 percent of their money (your money) on fundraising to raise more money. In addition, research is expensive (sad but true)… An $800,000 split among several researchers as PETA has done…will not go far at all."
I do not support PETA. I do not recommend my friends and family support them either. Maybe they have done good work, but their bad overshadows their good by at least three times. Please do not endorse PETA nor donate to them. Here is another cute puppy to make you feel better.

Dawwwwwww <3
Update 9/1/2012 --- When Shelby County, KY threatened to become a kill shelter after being a No Kill Shelter for four years, PETA "graciously" sent a gift basket, "with a note thanking them [Shelby County Shelter] for their decision to start killing again after four years. “Thank you for doing the right thing” wrote PETA in its gift offering from Allison’s Gourmet which included vegan cookies,* baked without eggs or dairy, because—you know—harming animals is wrong."

UPDATE 12/3/13 --- DAMN IT PETA, WHY WON'T YOU DIE??? UGH, the awful organization has again decided to turn their malicious gaze back on fat women. Do you know about Plan B not working for women over a certain weight? Well PETA has decided that they will help by initiating the "Plan V";
"If extra pounds are thwarting a woman's ability to use Plan B, PETA's 'Plan V' could be the prescription they need," says PETA Executive Vice President (and mother) Tracy Reiman. "Going vegan is a great way to lose weight and get healthy—and it could help women regain control over their reproductive lives."